The "Boy Problem"

My roommate has no trouble getting the guys. Unfortunately, she has a lot of trouble getting rid of them. I know why; but she doesn't. I would say that she lacks agency, but saying that implies that it's not her own fault, when it really and truly is.

Honestly, I am sometimes overly assertive. I'm blunt, I say what I'm thinking, I'm unfiltered. I have a hard time dealing with unassertive people because I really don't understand why they won't speak up for themselves. If something is not going the way you want it to, why do you simmer and suffer? Anyway, onto the problem at hand...

In recent months there have been two uber creepy guys that have infiltrated my roommate's life. The first one she met in one of her classes and the second one she met because he works in the building where we work out. The class guy was obnoxious and WEIRD. He said things that made me uncomfortable and once tried to grind on me in our kitchen. He sent my roommate lots of presents and even visited her twice in her hometown over the summer. Luckily (because my roommate refused to tell him otherwise!!!) he kind of got the hint that she wasn't that into him and he is out of the picture now that he's in med school in another state.

However, this new guy is not going anywhere fast. Last week I asked my roommate if she liked him. She hemmed and hawed but basically said that she didn't. Imagine my shock a few days later when I heard them talking in her room. She was acting like she has a huge crush on him- laughing obnoxiously at all of his jokes, being a giggling fool, etc. If that isn't leading someone on, I don't know what is. In some ways it makes me angry. That guy could be finding a girl that actually is interested in him...but then I remember how my roommate thinks. She has NO IDEA what she is doing. I just overheard her conversation with our other roommate. She was asking for advice about what to do. The conversation made me want to yell down the stairs: "Stop giving him the wrong signals! You have to be upfront! Tell him you aren't into him and he will leave you the fuck alone! Oh, and when he asks to spend the night say NO!" That wouldn't have gone over well though.

Regardless, I just think she needs to learn to stand up for herself in everyday situations. She is going to get herself in WAY too deep at some point because she won't think about what she wants, let alone make it known. Lord help her future husband.